Contemplating
by ForeverinMoonlight
Summary: What did he think about?


_Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Unfortunately (or fortunately) this shall always be so._

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**Contemplating**

Kira Izuru sighed in relief as he picked up the paperwork. He handled the pile of papers delicately, like they were a miraculous thing where one rough touch, one sudden and clumsy movement would eliminate them from reality forever. Such an event would be horrible, _disastrous_ – he had just managed to get Ichimaru-taichou to complete them. The lot. Every last form had been painstakingly filled out by the the 3rd Division Captain while he had been encouraged and anxiously watched over by his fukutaichou. It truly was an emotional moment, holding the bounty, the _prize_ as it were... the proof of hours of slog from the both of them. The sight of the finished paperwork was worth it, definitely – though currently all Kira felt was relief. Sheer relief, coursing through his body, making him almost giddy as he kept his eyes fixed on the pile (mountain, really) in his grasp. Ah, it was over, finally. _Finished_. He would not have to think about it for another month, where he'd be once more forced to make his Captain fill out yet another batch at the last minute. Still, that was next month... He could relax, for now.

Giving the paperwork one last awestruck look, Kira turned to his Captain. Though he shifted his attention from the completed forms, he still clung onto them – his hands tightly gripped the pages for fear that they would otherwise blow away, lost forever into the ethers of nonexistence.

His eyes rested on Ichimaru-taichou and he made to speak, his mouth opening... but soon limply closing again as he registered the sight in front of him.

Ichimaru Gin sat at his desk; the wooden surface usually a resting place for mess, approaching deadlines and pieces of paper with inane, random doodles on them. However, once a month it was the scene of grueling hard work, sweat, tears and overwhelming accomplishment. It was currently the aftermath of such a scene – which was evident if one looked closely enough. The table was splattered with black blotches, the writing implement responsible for this discarded to one side, one end oozing ink and the other chewed and twisted. Kira Izuru had been sweating and emoting more than enough for the both of them (his nails were considerably shorter than they had been just hours earlier and he was looking forward to a nice, soothing bath now that the paperwork was completed), but his taichou had not been unaffected, either. His face glistened with perspiration, his fringe limp on his forehead. He had been leaning over the papers for what had seemed like an age with furrowed brows, bent neck and hunched shoulders... Kira had winced more than once in sympathy for him; the latter two actions would undoubtedly give him considerable trouble in the future.

However, this was not what had made Izuru pause. Gin still sat with an inky elbow leaning on the desk, but it now added to his contemplative countenance, his equally inky hand supporting his head as he thought. His neck and shoulders were no longer tense and betrayed none of the pain that he should now have felt, his eyebrows had relaxed and his mouth was curved into the opposite of a frown. This should have returned his carefree air to him, but instead shrouded him in distance. Kira watched his taichou silently; he knew that stance well. It was the one which made attempts at speaking to him useless – though admittedly he hadn't ever tried that hard. Ichimaru-taichou seemed to retreat into himself, oblivious to the world. Distant, but... not exactly. It was almost, well.. _arrogant_. It made him stand out as time slowed down, like the world should stop, take a moment to pause exactly like him... and keep _it's_ distance, not him shying away from the world.

Yes, it was strange... strange, the way Kira's gaze was always drawn to Gin as the taichou thought. Magnetically... Izuru also contemplated then, too – he wondered what depths that his Captain retreated to, what unknown issues floated around in his superior's complex mind. What did Ichimaru Gin ponder over? What demanded his attention, swirling around and around in a cyclical... no, obscure motion... what turned around and around countless times to a vivid beat, matching the mysterious whirring and working of his brain?

_What did Ichimaru-taichou think about? _It was a mystery. Nothing ever betrayed his taichou's thoughts; he was unpredictable, impossible to truly understand. However, perhaps Kira was just high on the lingering accomplishment of completed paperwork, but something occurred to him. Sure, he would never truly know... but what if he _asked _him? He had every right to do that, and his Captain had every right to not answer. It was worth a try! Why should he not attempt to satisfy his burning curiosity? Izuru began to feel the familiar doubt seeping into his mind – was such an action really _wise_?

However, his mouth had already acted for him.

"_Ichimaru-taichou_?" He blurted out, unconsciously adding more force to his words than he would normally favour. It was undoubtedly this force which made Gin instantly turn his head to look at him.

When Ichimaru-taichou shifted his attention to him, Kira froze. For it was obvious that at that moment Gin had only been partially roused from his contemplative state. Slitted eyes or no, the sanbantai-taichou's gaze bore into him, and it was the sheer depth of his look that robbed Izuru of his mobility. It was profound, heavy, _dark_... and in that moment, the fukutaichou was clearly aware of time stopping, grinding to a halt around the two. Gin's expression seemed to see into his very soul, the intensity giving Kira an unbelievable, indescribable feeling which swept through him; a chill for which shivering was an inadequate reaction.

"Yeah... Izuru?" The answer, caressing but painfully sharp at the same time, forced Kira to believe that time was a concept that still existed. Somewhere. For an unknown length of this vague construct all he could do was stare...gripped; powerless. The gaze holding him produced feelings of insignificance (why did he exist again?) and importance (so this was how it felt to be beautiful...) in equal measure. In those moments it was obvious as to who was the Captain and who was a mere subordinate. The difference and distance between second and first had never been so vast...

It was beginning to occur to Izuru that he needed to reply, to motion, to do _something_... but he currently found his whole body was frozen in place and refused to be moved. His brain was overwhelmed by what was radiating off his taichou in waves – power, mercy – hate, love – joy, apathy – intelligence, sorrow, contentment, agony, beauty, ugliness – good – evil – dark – light – serious where was the joking who what when _why_?!

He was a rabbit caught in the headlights...

...No. _Snap out of it, Izuru._ Yes, he had to say something... but what?

_What are you thinking about?_ The question had long died from his lips, from his mind, from his _heart_.

He forced himself to speak, hoping that inspiration would hit him --

"I.. um... the..."

It wasn't working. _Look around_. His head jerked slightly, then it hit him. What he was holding. _The paperwork_. The pile (mountain) of paperwork, each page tightly gripped in his hands. The trophy. The prize. The _saviour_.

Oh, Kami-sama bless that paperwork.

"Th- the paperwork. It's all finished. I'll make sure it's sent off as soon as possible." He barely managed to choke the first part of the sentence out, but when that did come the rest rushed and tumbled after it.

A beat, painful and pressing --

The cloud lifted. Time chugged on again. Ichimaru Gin grinned, the air about him lighthearted, playful, calculating... at apparent ease once more.

"Ah, good, good. Now we can have fun again!" The Captain stretched lazily, and rose from his seat. Kira watched him blankly, half wondering if he had imagined the past few minutes. Ichimaru-taichou seemed so _normal_ now (as ordinary as he got, anyway). He visibly drooped as weariness engulfed him. He felt so drained; shell shocked... he'd seen more double, triple, quadruple, _infinite _meanings in a person just before than he had in his whole existence.

Gin skipped (yes, _skipped_) merrily towards the door for some distance before halting and turning to look at his fukutaichou. His grin deepened (though somehow this did little to comfort Kira) and he tilted his head, raising an eyebrow.

"Aren'tcha coming, Izuru?" His words were merely met by blinking. Gin was unfazed and he doubled back, grabbing his fukutaichou by the arm and starting to lead/drag him out of the room. "C'mon!"

Izuru gave his Captain a confused look but did not resist, limply letting himself be dragged. "Ichimaru-taichou, where are we going...?"

Gin shrugged. "No idea!" He chirped, his steps towards the door becoming increasingly determined. "Outside? Anywhere. So long as there's no paperwork involved¹!"

Kira Izuru sighed, his melancholy action going unnoticed (or ignored) by the sanbantai-taichou. A typical answer. Also, in a way... he _had_ had his earlier question answered.

What did Ichimaru Gin think about?

Yes, the answer was very clear to Izuru; it echoed in his own weary brain even now.

What did Ichimaru Gin think about?

Answer: He did _not_ want to know.

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**A/N: **The idea for this popped into my head a couple of days ago (inspired from one of the images in the first Bleach DS game of Gin and Izuru, I think). It begged to be written, so today I finally obliged. I should really be writing more of another Bleach fic I've been working on, but... oh, well. I'll finish it when I finish it, I guess... Anyway! It'd be great to know what you thought of it. :) I hope it was enjoyable... Thanks for reading!

¹ Replace the small 1 symbol beside the word involved with a wavy line (you know, that prolongs words?). For some reason it keeps deleting the actual symbol... Or you know, you can just ignore the ¹ symbol altogether and imagine that the word's not prolonged if you want. xD Whichever.


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